A Martyr No More

In a moment of emotional vulnerability one night, my ex expressed that he doesn’t think he feels like other people do. He said, “When my mom passes, I’m not sure if I’ll cry.” This was several months before she passed. He was right, when she did pass away, he didn’t cry. He got misty eyed a few times, but no tears, at least not that I saw. That’s surprising, but somewhat understandable as his parents weren’t really a part of our lives. He hadn’t lived at home for 20 years. They never called us and we never called them. We saw them a few times a year at family events and everyone was okay with that.
He continued, “And like if you died. I don’t think I’d cry.” That’s a little different. We were together every day. We had eight children together. We were laying in bed and I remember tears silently streaming down my face in the dark. I knew he was right. I knew he wouldn’t cry, and I knew there was something deeply wrong with that.

“There is nothing to be gained from attempting to empathize with someone who is neurologically incapable of returning the favor.”