A Martyr No More

“This relationship ends now. If you want to create a new one with me, I am open to that, but the way things have been is over.” I was not expecting to hear the counselor suggest that I say that to my husband. I was expecting to be told I needed to suck it up and tough it out. I appreciate the directness and practical advice of that. He said I’m conditioned to retreat. He counseled me to prepare to take action. To prepare for an intervention that will give my husband the hope of changing and healing. I don’t want to cause him any trauma. I care about him deeply. The plan is for me to meet with the counselor a few more times and come up with a plan for how to intervene in a way that will be meaningful and supportive for my husband.