A Martyr No More

I had spent a couple of weeks refinishing our dining room table. It was a high quality piece of furniture that we bought when the kids were young and money was tight. But we knew it would last, so we invested in it. After many years and a bunch of children, it needed to be sanded and re-finished. So I took a couple of weeks in the evenings after work and did it.

Fast forward a year or so later and we are doing another project, reupholstering the old and torn cushions in our used boat. My husband is routinely careless and damages property. This was another example. He scratched the table with the staples and he marked it up with permanent marker when marking the upholstery patterns. I noticed it and asked him to adjust so that he didn’t ruin the table.

A couple of days later, when we finished the project, I examined the table. He was watching me. I expressed my sadness, and said, “I am going to need to refinish this again.”

His response was contemptuous, “Not tonight.” That was it. The message was, “Don’t talk about it. If you talk about it, I will shut you down. You are not allowed to talk about my mistakes.”